Advice to my younger self

A woman can be fragile and strong at the same time.

I never understood the applicability of this one advice my parents used to give me.

I agree most of us are not ‘black and white’: a lot of us lie in the grey zone.

But at times the advice of maintaining friendships or relationships through common ground can only go so far.

You might realise the darkness of a person is too jarring for you to continue bearing.

When that happens, remember you have to be prepared to let go of the goodness.

Perhaps the sudden lack of emotional support maybe unsettling when you hadn’t realised you’ve become quite dependent on for some time, but with that, gone too are the constant unsolicited sexual innuendos and the condescension masquerading as affection and attention.

My advice to my younger self:

1. You alone are enough.

2. Learn to love yourself first. You can’t have healthy relationships with people until you understand the importance of that.

3. You may feel like you don’t belong anywhere, but that’s okay.

4. Recognise toxic friendships and learn to let go. If you feel like you’re in a vicious cycle with a person, a pattern that never seems to die down, that’s a major red flag.

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